Back to School: A Crisis in Identity Part 3

Over the last two weeks we've explored the world's concept of identity and worth. So, what does God say about you? Take the next 30 days to meditate on these verses. It's your choice to believe what other people say or what God says about you. I dare you to see what happens when you stop giving your worth away to someone's opinion and start seeing yourself as God sees you.  

If you haven't yet read part 1 and or 2, you can do so here: Part 1, Part 2

1 Peter 2:9 ESV  

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 

1 John 3:1-3 ESV 

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. 

Ephesians 2:10 ESV  

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 

John 15:15 ESV  

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. 

Psalm 139:1-24 ESV 

 O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. ... 

Isaiah 43:1 ESV 

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. 

Psalm 139:14 ESV  

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 

1 Samuel 16:7 ESV  

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 

Psalm 100:3 ESV  

Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. 

Isaiah 64:8  

But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. 

Matthew 6:26 ESV 

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 

Psalm 103:15-17 ESV  

As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children, 

Romans 8:16-17 ESV  

The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

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About Me: I'm a Christian counselor in Vancouver, WA. I specialize in treating male teens and men's counseling. Please contact me with any questions about my blog, counseling or to set up an appointment.

All information and opinions shared on this blog are for educational purposes only. Please contact me or another mental health care provider for diagnosis and treatment.

Vancouver, WA | Christian Counselor

Back to School: A Crisis in Identity Part 2

God's word makes a clear distinction about His value of people and the way the world values people. Movies, TV, social media and society are very vocal about who has value. You won't go far without hearing you need to be more, better, popular and good looking. 1st John 2:16 describes it perfectly, "For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world." (NLT)

The world (culture, society, friends, family, media) screams that someone can be better than someone else. God also has a megaphone, look at nature. Is Mt. St. Helens better than Mt. Hood? Is the Pacific better than the Atlantic? Is the North Pole better than the South Pole? These are ridiculous questions! Who can answer them?

Let's use the world's logic to answer one of these questions. Let's say I own a resort on Mt. Hood. As a businessman I want to make a ton of money and have the best resort around. I'd find all of the most attractive and famous people, get the Winter Olympics, go on a social media blitz, invite movies and TV shows to film at Mt. Hood. I'd share why Mt. Hood is better than Mt. St. Helens with anyone who'd listen. Soon people would believe my message and share it with others. As more people believe that Mt. Hood is better than Mt. St. Helens the statement becomes true.

Is it true? The fact is I've got a vested interest in Mt Hood being better. I've put time, power, money, energy and shared a clever narrative. The more people I get to believe my narrative the more I have to gain. What did I gain? I gained exactly what 1st John 2:16 describes, money, power, achievement and being better than someone/something else. I can only keep what I've gained while people believe Mt. Hood is better. And Guess what? Someone just built a better resort on Mt. Saint Helens.

The following verse, 1st John 2:17 says, "The world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God remains forever." Translation, the world's way may feel true and a lot of people may believe it, but it won't stand the test of time.

Throughout history there has been some absurd standards of beauty, most notably are those that have been used with (against) women. In the 16th Century women plucked their hairlines a few inches back, creating a receding hairline to show off their foreheads. Being blond was also considered beautiful, urine was often used for that golden shine.

The Japanese had a practice called Ohaguro. The women, and sometimes the men, would dye their teeth black for that fresh look of clean. For accent Greeks the uni-brow was a sexy look. The Middle Ages was the time to finally get rid of those pesky eyelashes. And In the 18th Century women glued fabric to their faces.

In the end, it's your choice to believe where your identity and value comes from.

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About Me: I'm a Christian counselor in Vancouver, WA. I specialize in treating male teens and men's counseling. Please contact me with any questions about my blog, counseling or to set up an appointment.

All information and opinions shared on this blog are for educational purposes only. Please contact me or another mental health care provider for diagnosis and treatment.

Teen Counseling | Vancouver, WA

Back to School: A Crisis in Identity Part 1

Going back to school creates all kinds of feelings- excitement, anxiety and everything in between. It's common to daydream about who's going to be in your class, the new friends you'll meet and the girl you'll finally work up the courage to talk to. In moderation, this daydreaming can be healthy and expected, but there is another side, a toxic side. It's the side that accompanies feelings of anxiety, worry, fear, sadness and worthlessness.

What if they don't like me anymore? What if I'm not accepted? What if she doesn't notice me? What if they find out who I really am?

When these thoughts are linked to identity, we give others the power to decide who we are. They answer the questions: Am I good enough? Do I have what it takes? Can I fool them into thinking I'm someone great? These thoughts accompany powerful emotions and become all consuming.

Where do these thoughts come from? If you walk into any high school there are established methods of gaining and gauging value. Friends, sports, talents, looks and personality. Everything you do or say can bring you up or down in popularity. Therefore, if you do the "right" things, hang out with the "right" people, look and act the "right" way you can have value. That's a lot of pressure!!! And it's all built on a half-truth.

That fact is God created all of us with the need to be valued. It's inherent in our DNA and our souls to have value. But who sets the standard of value? High schools are just a microcosm of the rest of the world. Money, cars, beauty, power and prestige are all highly valued in our culture. I've heard countless grown men say, "I wonder when everyone at work will learn that I'm a phony." This problem of outsourcing our value doesn’t start and end in high school.

We place our best self on social media to be judged by others. We rely on others to tell us if we're good enough.

The problem of relying on others to give us value is that it was never the job of a created being to give another created being value. Only the creator can give value to his creation. Other people can observe and describe our God given value, but they cannot add to it or diminish it.

Prayerfully consider these verses.

"There is no power on earth that can make a person important." Psalm 75:6 (ERV)

"But can the ax boast greater power than the person who uses it? Is the saw greater than the person who saws? Can a rod strike unless a hand moves it? Can a wooden cane walk by itself?" Isaiah 10:15 (NLT)

"So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now!" 2nd Corinthians 5:16 (NLT)

"As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don't even trust my own judgment on this point." 1st Corinthians 4:3 (NLT)

Like what you see? Want to see more? Subscribe by going to the bottom of this website, enter your email and name.  Or like my Facebook page.

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About Me: I'm a Christian counselor in Vancouver, WA. I specialize in treating male teens and men's counseling. Please contact me with any questions about my blog, counseling or to set up an appointment.

All information and opinions shared on this blog are for educational purposes only. Please contact me or another mental health care provider for diagnosis and treatment.