For guys anger is often a celebrated and accepted emotion, but it can have devastating effects on your family, friends and career. I hope to breakdown what anger is and what anger is not. Anger is an emotion and like all emotions, serves a good purpose when understood and used correctly.
Anger signifies that your boundaries, values or rules have been broken. Anger asks us to restore the boundaries, values or rules that have been violated. If you weren't able to experience the emotion of anger, justice, self-preservation and self-worth would be impossible. When someone disrespects you, anger gives you the energy and focus to seek restoration, this may mean a conversation needs to happen or distance needs to be sought to keep you safe.
Anger becomes a problem when it's used to protect you from your fear, anxiety, guilt, shame or responsibility. Anger is a powerful emotion and it allows you to feel justified in seeking to get your needs met. Have you ever felt guilty for something you did and when confronted, instead of taking ownership, you attacked the person who confronted you? Anger was misused, the energy and focus that comes from anger was used to focus on someone else's faults instead of owning your own. Anger was acting as a defense to push others away. Over time you become a victim to life and push friends, family and co-workers away. Anger has become a means of survival rather than a means of restoration.
If you're struggling with anger, or have a loved one that struggles, help is available. I work to understand the thoughts and emotions that lie at the center of hurtful anger and help to identify ways to meet needs in a healthy way. Anger doesn't have to rule you and you don't need to fear it.
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About Me: I'm a Christian counselor in Vancouver, WA. I specialize in treating male teens and men's counseling. Please contact me with any questions about my blog, counseling or to set up an appointment.
All information and opinions shared on this blog are for educational purposes only. Please contact me or another mental health care provider for diagnosis and treatment.
photo credit: Thomas Paal Photography <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90584459@N06/32769766735">Breaking Apart</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>