The shame was so thick he couldn't look at himself in the mirror. If he did he'd have to face the man he hates most. He avoided any close relationships, if people knew who he really was they'd run. Life was low and getting lower, the only thing that made him feel better was the thing that was killing him.
In part one we discussed why pornography causes shame and in this post, we'll discuss how shame increases pornography use and often leads to a sex addiction.
Shame produces the need to hide, cover yourself and keep others at a distance. When guys are stuck in the porn cycle, they do so in isolation. They start thinking they're the only ones who struggle. Since they are the only one with this problem, the next rational conclusion is that they must find their own way out. Life becomes a lonely journey full of failure, pain, confusion and wanting to give up. Addiction is brewing and most likely he's already there.
Sex addiction is not about sex. Sex addiction is about the inability to deeply relate to others. It's an intimacy disorder. The guy mired in shame from looking at pornography, reinforces his intimacy disorder when he pulls away. The more he travels this lonely journey, the more the addiction grows. Sharing your deepest struggles with another person is incredibly scary but incredibly necessary for growth. If you're stuck or you know someone who is stuck, the way out is getting help. Please contact me or another counselor that specializes in sex addiction. I’d be more than happy to walk with you through this incredibly difficult journey to find freedom.
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About Me: I'm a Christian counselor in Vancouver, WA. I specialize in treating male teens and men's counseling. Please contact me with any questions about my blog, counseling or to set up an appointment.
All information and opinions shared on this blog are for educational purposes only. Please contact me or another mental health care provider for diagnosis and treatment.